


F..K Christmas

by StillDreaming85



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-02-14 05:56:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13001292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillDreaming85/pseuds/StillDreaming85
Summary: A Scottish Christmas Tale. Four broken souls reunited at Christmas. Will they be able to overcome the ghosts of their past, future and present? - Reverse Harem -





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello! I'm still alive. Sorry, I haven't been around. Life has been crazy. I miss writing and my stories. I will get them finished... eventually. I'm starting this drabble/flash fic to get me back into writing. It's something I started months ago, that I had hoped to have written/finished, but life never goes to plan. I hope you are all well.

Big thanks to Sherry for all that she does.

Updates will be random.

Let's go!

**Chapter 1**

Christmas is my least favourite time of the year. Everyone's all happy, or should I say 'merry'. The shops are full of Christmas crap months and months before the day even gets here. Then there's the month of December where you can't walk down a single street without seeing decorations on every corner, or someone collecting from one charity or another, trying to prey on your goodwill. Yeah… Well, guess what? I don't have any goodwill. I hate Christmas and seeing it paraded every day in front of my face pisses me the fuck off. _Bah-fucking-humbug._ That's what I think. Fuck Christmas.

"Excuse me, miss?" I glance to my right as I walk down Sauchiehall Street to see some old man trying to get my attention. He's holding a collection bucket in his hand. A sure sign that he wants to part me with my well earned money. Fat chance of that happening. "Would you like to donate some spare change to the local dog shelter?"

I bite my tongue to keep from biting his head off. In fact, I don't trust my own mouth, so I merely shake my head and continue walking. I know it will only be a matter of meters before I bump into another collector. I usually find it's best not to make eye contact with these people. That doesn't always work with the really persistent ones though, like that old guy I just walked past. What bugs me is that these people are out here asking people for money when so many people in Glasgow are struggling to make ends meet. If people really wanted to donate money, they would. They don't need people hassling them on the streets, forcing them to donate something they can't afford. When did charities get so pushy?

I sigh when I finally make it down High Street to my favourite coffee shop. I'm grateful to see it isn't busy, but I can't find any solitude in the shop either. Even they have gone all out for Christmas with their decorations, Christmas cakes and cinnamon flavoured coffee. There's no escaping that dreaded holiday. I decide not to sit at a table like I usually do on Saturday mornings. I take my coffee to-go. I just can't stand to be around all this shit any longer than I need to be. I plan to head to Tesco for my weekly shop before heading home, where I know I'll be safe for the rest of the weekend.

However, things don't always go as planned.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Big thanks to Sherry. Thanks to all of you for your reviews. Glad to know I was missed xx

**Chapter 2**

As soon as I leave the coffee shop, I hear the sound of a child crying. I look around and spot a little girl standing by a nearby bin. She has tears streaming down her face and looks to be absolutely terrified. What really pisses me off about the situation is there are hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of people walking around her; not one of them has stopped to see if she is okay. I know they can hear her crying, just as much as I can.

I glare at the passers-by as I quickly walk over to the girl. I don't like that she is standing out here all on her own. She's too vulnerable. I know that I really don't partake of Christmas or any charities, but that doesn't I mean I'm some sort of heartless bitch. I'm not. I do care. I do have feelings.

"Hey," I greet her as I kneel down - in front of her - to her level, trying my best not to intimidate her. "Are you okay?" I have no idea why I asked such a stupid question. I have no idea why anyone asks that of someone who's clearly upset, but we all do it. She shakes her head, but doesn't answer me. "My name is Bella," I say, trying to get her to feel at ease and talk to me. "What's yours?"

She shakes her head again, but this time she mumbles to me. "My dad says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

I smile at her reply. "Your dad sounds like a smart man, but I promise you, I don't mean you any harm. I want to help you."

"He says that's what bad people will say to get you to go away with them."

How could I argue with that? "That's true, but I promise I'm not trying to take you anywhere. I just want to help you. Were you shopping with your dad or your mum? Did you lose them?"

"My mum's dead," she states matter-of-factly, which hits me like someone sticking a knife into my heart. This little girl can only be six or seven; too young to grow up without a mother. No child should have to grow up without one of their parents. I grew up without both and it wasn't a pleasant experience.

I push my own thoughts and feelings aside and turn my focus back to the little girl. "Were you with your dad? Did you lose him?" I ask again. She nods her head. I stand up, looking around at the people surrounding us. I can't see any signs of a frantic father searching for his kid. "What does your dad look like? Do you remember what he's wearing?"

"He has brown hair and green eyes," she says, her face screwing up as I presume she tries to remember what he was wearing. I open my mouth to encourage her to keep talking when I realise I don't know her name yet. She hasn't told me, but she is talking more, and I believe she's starting to trust me a little bit. I won't push her for more information than she is ready to give me. "He has jeans on and a black jacket, but I can't remember which t-shirt he's wearing."

I nod my head. "That's good, you're doing well. Can you remember the last shop you were in, or where you last saw your dad?"

"We were in the shop with all the action figures. I was looking at the Guardians of the Galaxy mini figs, but he wouldn't let me get one. He said it was too close to Christmas."

"The comic book shop?" I asked hopeful. It wasn't too far from here. She nodded. "Good, how about we go to the shop and see if we can find your dad?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Big thank you for all your reviews. They are much appreciated.

Thanks to my girl Sherry for working her magic on this chapter.

Chapter 3

I took the little girl by her hand, holding on just tight enough so I wouldn't lose her in the busy crowd, but not so tight it'd scare her. I didn't want to make her think her dad was right and I was a bad person, trying to kidnap her.

I tried to keep her engaged in conversation the entire way to the comic book shop; for the most part she was happy to answer me, but I could see the worried look on her face. She was scared we wouldn't find her dad, or maybe she was scared he'd be angry with her. I couldn't imagine anyone being angry with their missing child, but then again, the world was cruel and full of wicked people. I just hoped her dad wasn't one of them.

When we reached the comic shop, I saw a frantic man standing outside the shop, with what appeared to be a few of the shop's employees. They were looking around the crowd on the High St as if they were searching for someone, someone like the little girl holding my hand.

"Is that him?" I ask her as I bend down to her level, pointing towards the man who I think is her father. He certainly fits her description of him.

Instead of answering me, the little girl merely whimpers and pulls herself free of my hand. She yells 'daddy' as she rushes toward the man in front of the shop. It isn't until he turns in the direction of her call that I realise I recognise him. I mean, I don't just recognise him. I know him. He's someone from my past that I never thought I'd see again. Someone I'm not sure I ever wanted to see again.

I watch as the little girl races toward her dad, toward Edward. He scoops her up in his arms and spins her around. He looks so relieved to be holding his child again. The sight before me, both warms my heart and breaks it all at the same time. Part of me, wants to slip away before he realises it was me that found his daughter, but before I have the chance to turn and leave, I hear the little girl shout. "Daddy, daddy, you have to come and meet Bella. She found me. She saved me."

Edward's eyes break away from his daughter at the mere mention of my name. He searches the crowd around him, seeking me out and within seconds he's found me. He stares at me, like he's staring into my soul. Like he sees me. Like he knows me, because he does. It's at that moment I know I have no chance of slipping away, not when Edward has found me again. Because Edward owns me.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Big thank you to Paige for making this readable!

 

Sorry we were supposed to be well into the story by now, but the holidays kinda kicked my ass. I’m stockpiling chapters as of right now. So aiming to update every other day. Hope you all had a great holiday! 

 

**Chapter 4**

 

“Bella,” Edward says as he walks toward me. His face looks chalk white. I mean it was before he’d lost his daughter, but now that he’s looking at me I can tell he is completely shocked by my presence, like he’s seen a ghost. I know exactly how he feels.

“Edward, I, uh.” I haven’t a clue what to say to him, or to his daughter, who is now staring at me confused, wondering what is going on.

“I never thought I would see you again,” he says breathlessly. I didn’t think I would ever see him again either. I hadn’t planned on it. Glasgow is a large city and I was always so careful. I kept to myself so things like this didn’t happen. “How are you? You look well.”

I wasn’t sure if ‘well’ was supposed to be a compliment or not, but I knew exactly how I looked and it was different, different from the little girl he’d known so long ago. The little girl he protected for so many years. The little girl he had loved. “I’m fine,” I say glancing away. I look down at the ground drawing a breath to steady my nerves and give myself strength. When I finally feel like I have my shit together I look back up at him and say “I’m okay, what about you?”

“Yeah,” he says awkwardly, “I’m good. I mean you’ve met Annabella,” he says, gesturing to his daughter. “Apart from her running away and scaring me half to death, everything is good, great even.”

Annabella? His daughter’s name is Annabella. I’m not sure how to feel about that. Is it a coincidence that her name is so close to mine? I mean, I know she isn’t mine, but surely her mother wouldn’t have approved of him naming her after me. That is if he named her after me. But then, she said her mother was dead. I have no idea how she passed away, or who she even was.

“Dad,” Annabella says softly. “Do you know, Bella?” That was a loaded question. She was still up in his arms, looking at both of us, so confused. I wondered how he would answer, but before Edward can reply another ghost from my past, our past, comes rushing up.

“Annabella, there you are! Thank god,” Emmett says exasperated as he hurries over to Edward’s side, pushing past the people in his way. He takes the girl out of Edward’s arms and pulls her to his chest, holding her tightly. “We were all so worried. When your dad called to say you were missing, uncle Jasper and I started looking for you everywhere. You know you’re not supposed to run off like that. You scared us all half to death.”

I stand there silently, watching Emmett interact with Annabella. They seem close, and he mentioned Jasper, another ghost. Though, I shouldn’t be surprised they’re all still close and in each other’s lives. You don’t go through what we went through and not have a bond. I use to be close to them all, once upon a time, before I left.

“I’m sorry uncle Emmett,” Annabella mumbles, “but it’s okay, Bella found me. Do you know Bella too?”

Emmett lowers the girl to the ground and turns to face me. His face goes pale the second he sees me. “Bella,” he stutters. I know right then there’s no way I’m getting away from either of them again. And part of me doesn’t want to, because part of me misses belonging to them, however, the other part of me is screaming at me to run, before I get hurt again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thanks goes to Paige for making this readable.

Glad you're all enjoying it. Thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter 5**

"Hi," I say awkwardly as Emmett just stands there staring at me. His mouth is hanging open, making him resemble a fish. I pray he finds the words to say something, anything, to fill this awkward silence that seems to be stretching on forever between us, because I haven't a clue what to say to either of them. I hadn't planned on seeing them again, but I can't say I haven't thought about them over the years, and wondered how they were doing.

Edward doesn't seem to be holding up much better. He's just standing there staring at me as if he doesn't believe I'm real. Thankfully he isn't gaping like Emmett, but he doesn't seem to know what to say to me either.

"We're going Christmas tree shopping," Annabella says, stepping toward me and finally breaking the silence. "You have to come with us, it's going to be so much fun!" She's practically bouncing on her feet and her green eyes are twinkling at me. She's so excited and why shouldn't she be, it's Christmas. It clearly means more to her than it ever did to me, but still, I decline her offer. My self preservation kicking in. Although I know it will do me no good.

"I can't. I'm sorry," I say, shaking my head. The happiness from her face instantly fades and I feel like such a shitty person for letting this little girl down, even though I don't know her.

"Surely you can spare a few hours," Edward says, stepping to his daughters side. "Annabella would love your company," he says, clasping his hand on her shoulder. "Plus, Emmett and I would love a chance to catch up with you. We've missed you. Jasper has too."

"I, uh," I stutter, trying to find an acceptable excuse for why I can't join them, but when Annabella steps forward, fluttering her eyelashes at me, I know I'm done for. This kid is too cute for her own good.

"Okay, a few hours, but then I have things to take care of." I could handle a few hours right? Then I would make my excuses and leave.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Annabella shouts, jumping up and down like she's just won the lottery, only she hasn't. She's won me for a few hours and I fear she's going to find my excitement about Christmas and Christmas tree shopping somewhat lacking.

She grabs my hand and starts pulling me up High St. I follow her reluctantly, glancing back at Emmett and Edward to see them following us. Both of them look somewhat relieved to have me coming with them, but I know they would have fought to keep me around even if Annabella hadn't spoken up first.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Big thanks to Paige for fixing this one up!

I know you're all in a hurry for answers, but I've got to let the story flow the way it wants to. We'll get there.

**Chapter 6**

"I like this one!" Annabella exclaims, jumping up and down in front of a rather small and weather beaten tree. The tree in question was about her height. A whole two, possibly two and a half feet tall. It looked like shit compared to all the other five or six foot luxury trees that we were currently surrounded by, but who was I to tell her it wasn't a good tree? What did I know?

"I know what you're thinking," Emmett says as he walked up beside me. It's the first time he's had a chance to speak to me since we were outside the comic book shop. Annabella has been hogging my attention the entire time. Not that I minded.

When we got to Edward's car, which was parked at Buchanan Galleries, Annabella and I sat in the back seat, while Edward drove and Emmett sat up front. It was almost as if Annabella could sense the tension in the air because she spoke the entire time. I now know she has a crush on a boy named Jake, who her best friends are, and which school she goes to.

"And what's that?" I ask, turning my attention to Emmett as Edward walks over to his daughter to discuss her chosen tree.

"Why that tree?" Of all the things I thought he was going to say, I'm grateful it's about the tree and not something deep about us.

I nod, more than happy to keep the conversation light. "It is a strange choice."

Emmett sighs, but it's not an unhappy sound as he turns his attention to Edward and Annabella. "She has a gift, a need to care for the unwanted and broken. She doesn't see the world the way we do. She finds treasure where others think there is none to be found. It's why I think you were the one to find her. You were drawn to her, just like she was drawn to you."

So much for the light conversation. I open my mouth to protest that I'm not broken, but the words don't make it out of my mouth. It would be a lie anyway. I've never been whole.

"I'm just so grateful to see you again, Bella. I hope you'll stick around and give us a chance to get to know you again. No matter what has happened in the past, we're your family and we've missed you."

With that statement he walks away from me and over to join Edward and Annabella. I try to pretend his words don't affect me, but they do. They most certainly do.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thank you Paige! Even tho I'm pushing you out of your comfort zone.

Thank you for the reviews! I'm glad you liked Emmett's wise words.

**Chapter 7**

"Bella!"

I hear my name being called somewhere behind me, but I don't get the chance to fully turn around to see who is calling me before I'm engulfed in a pair of strong arms. I'm pressed firmly against a solid, hard chest, and I don't even have to look up to see who is holding me. The scent of cedarwood and juniper assaults my nose and I know it's Jasper. He's always smelled so fresh and crisp, like a cool autumn morning stroll in the woods. "God, it's so good to see you," he says, holding me tighter.

He's the first of them to hold me. In fact he's the first of them to initiate any sort of physical contact and I want to say I hate it, but I don't. It feels so good to be held again. It feels so good to be wanted, treasured. Loved. Tears fill my eyes, threatening to spill onto my cheeks. I do my best to push them back. I don't want to cry in front of Jasper. I don't want to cry in front of any of them.

Jasper pulls back to look at me, but he doesn't comment on the emotion bubbling behind my eyes. He merely smiles before leaning in and placing a kiss on my forehead. He doesn't need to say he's missed me. It's there, written all over his face. His eyes are full of just as much emotion as mine. I know I wasn't the only one hurting when I left.

"Uncle Jasper, you broke Bella." A stroppy voice says from our sides. I turn and look down to see Annabella standing beside us. Emmett and Edward are standing behind her. They both look like they so desperately want to get in on the action, but I pull away from Jasper before this gets any more emotional.

"I'm sorry," Jasper says, crouching down to face Annabella. "I just missed her so much that I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her. Do you remember how it feels when we go away on holiday and you have to leave Buttons home? When you come home all you want to do is hold him, well it's like that, only you leave Buttons for a week, two at the most and I haven't seen Bella in eight years."

"Why haven't you seen her in eight years?" She asks quietly.

"It's a long and complicated story," Jasper says. "One that I'll tell you when you're older."

Annabella seems to accept this answer because she nods before reaching for my hand. I allow her take my hand in hers as she pulls me along. "Come on, Bella. Dad has paid for the tree. We're going home to decorate it."

I almost stumble at her words. We're going home? To her home? I can't go with her, and yet she looks so excited that I don't want to let her down. I can't image the guys would take kindly to me upsetting her. They seem so protective of her. They love her like they once loved me, maybe even more.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Sorry I've been MIA, not been feeling great the past few days. To make up for it I'll update twice today.

As always, a huge thank you to Paige for working her magic on this chapter.

Thank you to all of you as well for your reviews and patience.

**Chapter 8**

"Hey," Edward says, pulling me to the side. "We're just gonna go home and decorate the tree. You don't need to look so worried." Jasper, Emmett and Annabella walk on to Edward's car to load up the tree. I don't think they've even noticed we've stopped walking with them. They all seem so caught up in the excitement.

"I know," I say, trying my best to swallow back my anxiety. "It's just… I went out for coffee this morning and then I was going for food at Tesco. This isn't exactly how I thought my day was going to go. Seeing you all again… it's hard. It hurts, and now you have a daughter, Edward. She's beautiful, but-" I want to say that, he's moved on when clearly I haven't, but I don't. I have no right to shame him for moving on. He had a right to find happiness, it just hurts it wasn't with me.

"I know it's a lot to take in," Edward says, placing his hand lightly on my shoulder. "but let's get home. We'll decorate the tree and then we'll talk. Okay?" The way he keeps saying home, it's like he is implying it's my home too. It's strange, but maybe he's not even aware of what he is doing, or perhaps I'm reading into it more than I should.

"Okay," I say reluctantly. "I'll come to your home with you and help decorate the tree, but for the record, I hate Christmas. I'm only doing this for Annabella. She had a frightening experience today and I want to ensure she's okay."

"You always did," Edward says, smiling sadly.

"Always did what?" I ask, not sure what he was talking about.

"Hate Christmas. We could never get you to enjoy the holiday. I hoped that maybe things had changed for you; that maybe you had learned to love it, but I guess not. We'll just have to try harder now that we have you back."

"Look Edward," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'm not sure that you have me back. To be honest I have no idea what's going on here. I feel so confused and emotionally all over the place. You were all once a huge part of my past. A past I've tried so hard to forget. I'm not sure I can just walk back into your lives and pretend nothing has happened."

"No one is asking you to pretend that nothing has happened and I understand there are things you would rather not remember. We all have dark pasts, Bella. All we're asking from you is a chance. You can give us that, right?"

Could I? Luckily I was saved from answering him. Annabella came up and grabbed my hand, telling me it was time to go.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Big thanks to Paige for all her hard work!

**Chapter 9**

After about a twenty minute drive, I find out that 'home' is a large detached house in a private housing scheme in Muirhead. Annabella informs me that all the guys live here with her. It's certainly a huge improvement from the rundown flat we used to share together. It also looks like a new build, which makes me wonder what the guys do for a living, in order to be able to afford something this grand.

"I can't wait to show you Buttons," Annabella says, grabbing my hand as soon as we get out of the car, pulling me toward the front door. Edward barely manages to get the door unlocked before I am whisked inside and dragged into the living room. There we find a ginger cat sleeping on the couch. From where I'm standing I can see the cat is missing half of its ear and has a huge scar down the side of its face. I can now see what Emmett meant by Annabella loving the unwanted. Not many people would have given a disfigured cat the time of day.

"Isn't he cute?" Annabella asks, walking over to the cat, and looking down at him adoringly. I want to ask her what happened to his face, but I don't want to point out his disfigurement, not when she doesn't seem to see it.

"He's beautiful," I agree.

Emmett brings the tree into the living room, placing it by the window. "I think we're going to need to put the tree on a table so it can be seen from outside," he comments.

Annabella nods. "We can use the one from my room."

"I'll go get it!" Emmett, says with enthusiasm.

I watch Emmett as he walks out of the room, smiling to myself. This little girl has the three of them wrapped around her little finger. I doubt there was anything they wouldn't do for her.

"Do you want a tour before we start decorating the tree?" Edward asks as he comes into the living room. He looks hesitant, almost like he's afraid of my reply.

"Yes!" Annabella shouts excitedly. "Let me give you a tour. I can't wait to show you my room."

"No," Jasper says as he joins us in the living room. "Why don't you let the two of them go on their own. You can help me make lunch." Annabella pouts, but I notice she doesn't argue with him.

After agreeing to the tour, I follow Edward out of the living room. He shows me the kitchen and dining area, the utility room, the garden and the garage. Once we move upstairs, the conversation moves on from polite pleasantries to more serious topics. And here I thought we were going to talk 'after' we decorated the tree. I guess he wanted to catch me off guard.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Thank you Paige!

Answers coming in chapters 11/12/13 xx

**Chapter 10**

"So, where have you been for the last eight years?" Edward asks me as soon as we enter the first bedroom. I look around to buy me some time before answering him. The room we're in is very masculine. I'm not sure if it's his or not, but either way, it's decorated to a high standard with a lavish bedspread, rich wallpaper and thick, lush carpet. These guys certainly aren't lacking for money these days. Not like the days when I lived with them and we had to scrape our resources together just to get by.

"I dunno," I say as I absentmindedly run my hand over the bedspread. "Around. I never actually left Glasgow. It's a big city. Easy enough to get lost in if you don't want to be found." I glance up at him, wondering what he makes of my words. His face is a blank mask, giving nothing away about how he feels. He's just standing there casually, leaning against the chest of drawers like he's waiting for me to open up.

When I don't rush to continue, he finally asks, "Why didn't you want to be found? Why didn't you come looking for us after so much time had passed? You know we would have welcomed you back with open arms."

He's right. I knew they would have welcomed me back, but I was a scared little girl who didn't know what she wanted. I was hurt, confused, and worried. I was disturbed. I had so much shit to work through and I thought I was better off working through it on my own. I was wrong, of course, but at sixteen you think you know best. Obviously you don't, but try telling a stubborn sixteen year old that you know better than them. I know I certainly wasn't willing to listen to reason.

"I don't know," I answer him honestly. "I guess I got used to living my own life. I got used to being on my own. Then after so much time had passed, I convinced myself it was too late to go back. There was also a good chance I wouldn't find you. I didn't want to risk looking for you and have to deal with the heartache of not being able to find you. And nothing would have been worse than that."

I had also managed to convince myself that maybe they wouldn't want me. After all this time, maybe they'd forgotten about me. It's pretty easy to convince yourself of just about anything when you're living on your own, especially when you had no one else in your life but the voices in your head. And that's what I had done. I had convinced myself that I was better off living on my own.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Thanks goes out to Paige for making my shit readable!

Thank you for all the reviews. Weather is really bad here right now. We have Thunder Snow!

Never heard of it before, but apparently it's a thing. Hope you're all staying safe. xx

**Chapter 11**

"We're all sorry for what happened, Bella. We never meant for things to get out of hand, but when we saw you were hurt, we just lost it. Our first priority should have been you. It should have always been you and if we could go back and change things, then we would. I'm sorry we pushed you away."

Edward's words surprised me. I never expected them to felt guilty for that night. They hadn't acted guilty afterward and in all honesty, I didn't blame them for how they reacted. Not when we had seen so much abuse at such a young age. The attack wasn't the entire reason I left. I mean, it was part of it, but the big part was down to the fact that I was messed up. I kept all my thoughts and feelings to myself. I bottled everything up, to the point I felt like I was constantly on the verge of exploding. I left because I couldn't cope. I wasn't coping. I didn't leave to punish them.

"The last thing we ever wanted was for you to leave us. These last eight years haven't been easy. Wondering where you were; if you were okay. Shit, Bella, we didn't even know if you were still alive. Do you know what it's like scanning the newspapers for any news of your death?"

I swallow back the lump in my throat, looking down at my shaking hands. I hadn't thought about what it would be like for them. I was too consumed with my feelings and issues to think about how my leaving would affect them. I'd been selfish. I owed them more than that. The word 'sorry' rests on the tip of my tongue. I open my mouth to say it, but no sound comes out. My throat suddenly feels dry. My legs weak. I feel as if I'm going to crumble, but Edward is by my side before my legs have the chance to give out.

He sets me down on the bed before sitting down beside me. I can feel him staring at me, willing me to look at him, but I can't. I'm overcome with guilt for how I've treated them. I'm such a shitty person. The entire time I've made this whole situation about me, but it's never just been about me. It's always been about us.

Edward must get fed up waiting for me to look at him, because he puts his hand beneath my chin, titling it gently, until I'm looking him in the eyes. I fear what I will see there, but I don't find what I expected. Instead of judgement, there is only concern. "It's okay, Bella. It's all going to be okay." His words cause the last of my resolve to crumble. I breakdown; closing the distance between us as I cry quietly into his chest.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Thanks goes out to Paige for making this readable.

Thank you for all the reviews. I'm sorry the updates have been a little slow. I'm struggling to find time and motivation, but we'll get there x

**Chapter 12**

I have no idea how long I sit there, crying into Edward's chest, but when the tears finally subside, Edward pulls away to look down at me. "Please, tell me you won't leave us again." His eyes plead with me to say the words, but I can't. We have so much we need to talk about, and I can't promise he'll want me to stay after we have those discussions.

I shake my head, looking down at my hands on his chest. I don't want to stop touching him. I've missed him, more than I ever realised was possible, but I can't promise not to leave him. I want to, but I just can't.

"I know what happened between you and Jasper." His words catch me off guard. I quickly pull away from him, as if he's burned me. I look up at his face expecting to see anger there, but all I see is understanding.

"He told you?" I ask hesitantly.

Edward nods as he grabs my hands, pulling them back to his chest and holding them there. "He told me," he confirms. "I don't blame either of you for what happened though."

"I… We…" I open my mouth, stumbling over my words. I don't know what to say. I slept with Jasper while I was in a relationship with Edward. It was wrong. It was unplanned, but it just happened.

Growing up in an abusive foster home together, the four of us had always been close, but Edward was the one I had developed a relationship with. That didn't mean I didn't have feelings for the others, because I did. I had always felt a strong pull toward all of them. Of course, when we were younger it had been more of a brother-sister bond, but as we grew older those feelings began to change and develop into something different.

Edward had been the first one to kiss me. He had been my first everything, well, the only firsts that really counted anyway. I tried not to think of all those other times when the choice had been taken away from me.

So, with him being my first, I'd pushed the others away. I'd held them at a distance, not giving them a chance for something _more_. Relationships were supposed to monogamous, or at least that was what society taught us. I had already failed at so much in my young life. I felt the pressure to at least get this right.

"It's okay," Edward assured me. "We've talked about it in great detail over the years. We all had feelings for you. We all still do. It's only to be expected with how we all grew up. I should never have ignored their feelings for you, or your feelings for them. We should have talked about it, worked something out."

I shook my head, not fully understanding what he was saying.

"We _all_ love you, Bella. We _all_ want you back… together."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Big thanks to Paige for all her hard work!

Thank you very much for the reviews. I enjoy reading them x

**Chapter 13**

Together? As in a relationship with all of them, is that what he meant? Surely, not? I mean, how would that even work and what would people think? What would Annabella think? What would that teach her?

"I can see the wheels spinning in your head," Edward says, stroking the side of my face. "I understand it's something you'll need to think over carefully and we want to give you time to think it over, but please consider what we're offering. We love you. We miss you. We want to be with you."

"Edward, I, uh… how do you even know this is what Jasper and Emmett want?" I ask, confused. They've basically just bumped into me. It was completely unplanned and unexpected. They haven't had the time to discuss this, so how can he come to me now and say this is what they want?

"Like I said, we've had lots of time to discuss it over the years. We've all missed you, Bella, but I understand if this is something you need to hear from them as well. Stay, and when Annabella goes to bed tonight we'll all sit down and talk."

"Speaking of Annabella," I say, standing up and putting some distance between us. "What will she think? Have you given any thought to how all this will affect her?"

"Of course we have," Edward says, getting up from the bed and walking over to me. He puts his hand out to touch me, but I take a step back to keep the distance between us. I need a clear head right now and that won't happen if I allow him to touch me. Edward looks hurt by my rejection, but quickly conceals his expression.

"I'm not Annabella's biological father," he states. "Her mother was a foster kid, just like us. She died giving birth to Annabella. We couldn't allow her to go into the system. I'm sure you can understand why. So we brought her home with us. We haven't legally adopted her yet, but we have acquired all her necessary papers. At home she calls us all dad; but she knows we aren't her real fathers and she understands we need to keep up appearances when outside of the house, which is why she calls Jasper and Emmett uncle.

"She knows all about her mother and how she died. We've never lied or tried to deceive her. So, as to your question, how will this affect her? I don't think it will affect her in a negative way at all. If that's what you're worried about. I actually think having you around will be good for her. It may even be good for you too."

I stood there shocked, not knowing what to say. Annabella isn't Edward's daughter. Initially, when I'd noticed her green eyes, I had just assumed she was his, plus she'd called him dad. I feel somewhat relieved to know she isn't his, which is all sorts of wrong, but I can't help how I feel. Not that I don't feel bad for her, not having a mother, but I know my guys will have done everything in their power to make sure she didn't feel that loss.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Sorry just been struggling with tiredness and life! I'll try better.

I'm off to London a week on Friday to meet some really cool Twi peeps and published authors. Hopefully I manage a few updates of this before then.

Big thanks to my ladies Paige & Sherry. Both of whom are nominated in the fandom awards. Please vote for them x

**Chapter 14**

"Lunch is ready," Jasper says as he pokes his head through the bedroom door. His eyes assess Edward and me, probably wondering how our talk went. Whatever he sees must satisfy him because he doesn't wait for a reply. He merely nods at Edward and leaves.

The idea of lunch suddenly doesn't sound all that appealing. I'm not sure I am ready to face all three of them, not after everything Edward just told me. Edward, however, doesn't give me a chance to back out. He places his hand on my lower back and guides me downstairs to the kitchen without another word.

When we enter the kitchen and my eyes land on Annabella I sigh in relief. Is it wrong that I feel like I need her near me when I'm around the guys? She makes everything easier. She puts my anxiety to rest. I'm not sure if it's because I genuinely enjoy her company or if it's because I know the guys won't put me on the spot when she's around. Perhaps it's both.

I make my way over to the round dining table where she is sitting, taking a seat beside her. She's playing with a Barbie doll, but when I sit down she stops what she's doing and looks at me with warmth in her eyes. "Did you get to see my bedroom?" she asks.

I want to tell her yes. I want to tell her how much I liked it, but Edward didn't get around to showing it to me and I don't want to lie to her. I open my mouth to tell her just that, but Edward beats me to it.

"I didn't have enough time to show Bella your room," Edward says as he takes the seat across from me. "Maybe you can show it to her later."

"Yes!" Annabella says excitedly. "I'll show it to you after we decorate the tree." She reaches over and squeezes my hand like it's nothing, before going back to playing with her doll.

I feel a lump form in my throat. This little girl has shown me more love and affection than I've received in years. Thankfully, before my emotions can run away with me, Jasper brings over a tray of BLT sandwiches and sets them down on the table. "Tuck in," he says, before shouting at Emmett to come eat, and taking the seat beside me.

Emmett comes in few seconds later and takes the seat next to Edward. We're all silent as we eat, but as we finish the last of the sandwiches, everyone begins to relax. The boys talk and laugh about old times, and it feels nice. It's almost like I never left.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Huge thanks to my ladies Sherry & Paige. Love you both to the moon and back.

**Chapter 15**

"That's my mom." I look up from the picture in my hand to see Annabella standing next to me, staring at me. We'd come upstairs - after lunch and an afternoon of decorating the tree - so she could show me her room. While I had been looking around, a picture on her bedside table caught my attention. I hadn't meant to pick it up, but the girl in the picture was striking and looked so much like Annabella.

"She was pretty, wasn't she?" she says as she swishes her princess dress at me. She'd insisted on trying all of her dresses on for me. Not that I'd minded. "Her name was Anna," she states simply before turning and walking away from me, leaving my head in a spin. Her mother's name was Anna, which explains the first part of her name, but does that mean… Did the guy's name her after me, too? I'm not sure I'm ready for the answer to that question yet.

I turn around to see what she's doing now. She's on the floor playing with more Barbie's like she doesn't have a care in the world; I suppose she doesn't. The guys have made sure she has everything she needs. Everything, but a mother. It breaks my heart to think this kind-hearted girl will have to grow up without a mother. She deserves more. Why does the world have to be so cruel at times?

I have to remind myself, before I turn into an emotional mess, that this is the norm for Annabella. She doesn't know what it's like to grow up with a mother, yet she seems pretty well adjusted, which is a huge testament to the guys and how they have raised her.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Annabella asks with a look of concern on her face. "Why do you always look so sad?"

I'm not sure how to answer that question. Sadness has just become a part of who I am now. I set the picture back down on the bedside table and walk over to her, taking a seat beside her on the floor. "Sometimes people are just sad, Annabella," I explain, not sure how to word it better.

"Oh," she says, her small eyes seeing far too much as they stare at me. "Do they not want to be happy?"

"They do," I answer, as I pick at a bit of fluff on the carpet. "But sometimes people experience too many sad things, and they find it hard to be happy."

"When it rains," Annabella says, reaching over and touching my hand. "You should look for the rainbows and when it's dark you should seek out the stars. Happiness is all around us, you just have to know where to look."

I stare at Annabella in shock, wondering where a child of her age would hear such a thing, when suddenly I hear a laugh at her door. Emmett is standing there watching the two of us. "Don't look so freaked out," he says to me. "Annabella loves quotes. We have that plaque somewhere in the house."

Even still, this little girl is wise beyond her years.

"Come on, trouble," Emmett says as he holds out his hand. "It's time for your bath."


End file.
